闲人

我们所谓的常识，体验到的现实，不去分析的暗藏的假设，信念，有时候不符合『事实』。

用回之前的例子，很多人会认为工作五天，一天八小时是『常识』。实际上只是一个『传统』而已。不是说科学家努力地证明了一个星期工作五天可以发挥出最大的效率。在不十分可靠的ｗｉｋｉ上稍作研究的结果，可悲的是一天８小时和以前比起来是一种进步。而据说一天八小时的决定是因为Eight hours labour, Eight hours recreation, Eight hours rest这种随便的计算。反正我们曾经认为是常识的，实际上似乎只是英国带动的传统。

看韩剧，有人认为尊敬父母等于服从父母，但实际上尊敬＝服从的方程式并不存在。父母也是人，也会错，当他们反对你合乎道理的行动的时候，需要改变的是他们自己。

看到的也不是现实。我们看到的东西反映着实际存在的东西，因为在进化中无法做到这样的人类已经灭亡了。实际上我们“看到”的只是头脑里面，眼睛分析出来的光线情报。听到的是空气振动的情报。感觉到的是神经被押到的情报。等等。快乐是头脑中的化学物质，痛苦亦复如是。

成功失败分解下来，也是在思想中制造“成功”的概念->实行->判断结果->用结果和开始的概念比较->断定成败。打ｇａｍｅ赚到一千万和现实中赚到一千万都是同等的，在思想中制造的“成功”的概念，但现实中赚到一千万会（显得）比较成功因为在“成功概念”的制造中加入了“完成越困难的事成功就越大”，“能够满足更多欲望的就越成功”，“能够让更多人敬佩的就越成功”。等等。

而在网上读到的也不是现实。

在寻求真理的旅程上印证到的，也许比较接近现实。或者，真的有所谓的真理存在吗？

你今天寻求真理了吗？

我一个星期工作两天（半）。以前别人问我剩下的时间在干什么？都觉得有点不好意思，有点萎缩，因为实际上都没做什么。最近开始释然，渐渐可以理直气壮地说我都在玩，或者闲着。

毕竟，觉得一个星期工作五天是正常的这个世界本身不对劲。就算是喜欢做的事，也很少有人一个星期五天，一天八小时，一整年两三个星期以外都一直在做。为什么反而不喜欢做的事，我们被指望付出这么多时间呢？

也许曾经，为了支撑社会，不得不这么做。但在工业化了以后，我们就变成了过剩的社会。以前需要八小时来生产的东西，随便假设工业化了只需要四分之一的时间。但我们并不满足，有了四倍效率的机器还是工作一样的时间去生产四倍的东西。

无可否认这样做东西变得便宜，一般人也可以有更多享受。但，并没有解决欲望的问题。实际上人就是越买不到的东西才越想拥有。学生的时候五块钱的乳酪蛋糕吃的很开心，小心翼翼地慢慢品味。现在随便买得起反而不怎么珍惜，随便吃了就算。现在每天喝便宜的茶，有时想买一些好料的，买了一定也是一个星期喝一两壶，慢慢收藏享受。但如果随便就买的起好料，反而像现在的廉价茶一样像白开水一样地喝，觉得普通。从笔记本换去电脑的时候哇！萤幕好大好爽！公司换了新电脑有超大萤幕，用了回到家啊！怎么那么小。停止了那边的工作，自己的萤幕用久了只觉得普通。

看了Avatar并不觉得怎样。也许是从小天才玩到PS2的旅程上，哇！了太多次，甚至对CG的“进步”本身都觉得有一点普通。虽然曾经在轩辕剑：枫之舞中，因为地图上的人物有着生动的动作而觉得感叹。

也许关键就是用久了觉得普通。普通，就想找新的，新的通常更贵（就算没有更贵也要重新掏出那笔钱），为了得到就拼命地工作。但，做两天工就有做两天工买不到而觉得有魅力的东西，做五天工还是有买不到而觉得有魅力的东西。如果不解决欲望的问题，还是在一样的陷阱里兜圈。

在路上看到老人家，偶尔会想，这个人人生过了大半，是过得有意义，做了些了不起的事，还是碌碌无为地过了一生呢？有没有稍微领悟到人活着是为了什么，还是从来就没有去思考过？

但分不出。就算过了很不同的生活的两个人，走在一起，也无法分辨谁过了怎样的生活。在那一刻，他们都在一样的地方走着一样的路。而也许各自曾经走过的路造成了现在不同的机会，死人却都是一样的。

成功，失败，有无意义，快乐，幸福，沮丧，绝望，最后也是无差别的白骨。

那，能追寻什么？还是什么都不去想，无知地消失？反正知与不知都在历史的洪流中一样地消失。

也许想追求的只是一种泰然。

在追寻着什么？

一直在找着，一种无法定义的“强”。发现到所寻找的强，只是希望得到能应付任何困难的一种心态。

但也许这种心态不是从一种能“得到”的强中培养出来的，而是经由“舍弃”。舍弃喜恶，舍弃了对特定结果的执着，才能真的对任何困难处之泰然。

也一直在找着有意义的事情。意义这样的词，词典里找得到，有固定的定义，不察就会觉得每个人说这个词的时候是在想着一样的事情。然而实际上是不一样的吧。仔细想，自己要找的“意义”，一方面是在找可以死后存留于世的东西，一方面在找自己喜欢做却可以维生的工作。

但，存留是没有意义的吧。存不存留只能在死后知晓，但死后已经对我没有关系了。存留本身是一个迷信吧，任何事物都在开始存在的那一刻同时埋下毁灭的种子。个人，整个人类，地球和太阳系，都有灭亡的一天。也许远得让现代人无法想象，但无论留下了什么都会在某个时候消失。说起来只是个人的虚荣心而已吧。

所以实际上想找的有意义的事，只是一份可以让自己开心地维生的生活吧。说起来只是个人的懒惰而已。

Without preferences we cannot survive. Foods that are tasty are not tasty in themselves; rather, evolution rewarded those who enjoyed the foods that contributed to their own survival. Those that did not prefer energy rich foods over poison, safety over danger, social acceptance over ostracism, failed to survive and leave their seed.

So we come onto this earth, equipped with age-old programming to prefer. Ancient knowledge, a potent tool to survive. Indispensable for a young child learning to live in the world.

But perhaps as adults we need to let it go. It has served its function to allow us to learn what is safe and not, what is good and not, and our maturation as a species has allowed us to use rational thought to understand what is good or bad for us, though many fail to make use of this.

Perhaps we need to recognize preferences for what they really are, just messages to guide us on our mission to survive, and not absolute commands that we punish ourselves for when we are unable to follow.

When talking about drug use (not necessarily just abuse), there is a term "tolerance". Larger and larger amounts of drugs are required to bring about the same effect as the body gets used to the previous quantity.

Yet it seems, we are not that different from those who use drugs for recreation. We squander time and money, sometimes our health, just to seek that special feeling inside which we evaluate as good, or to escape that nasty feeling we evaluate as bad. It seems, all our actions can be attributed to a seeking out of or avoiding of feelings. And tolerance builds up. We find new things to entertain us and get bored of it. Depending on one's personality and affinity, some might find an interest to last a lifetime, and the corresponding pleasant feelings that go with it.

However, what we call good or bad feelings, really means "I like feeling like this", "I dislike feeling like that". There is really no objective way that a pleasant feeling is better than an unpleasant one. It is only preference that drives us to evaluate feelings as such.

If we are able to keep our emotions under reign and evaluate our evaluations, then things start to fall apart. We see having a stable career as "good". For example, a stable career leads to money leads to fulfillment of desires leads to temporary ending of desires leads to pleasant feelings hence it is good. A stable career also leads to constant income leads to low risk of starvation leads to avoidance of anxiety which is an unpleasant feeling. There are probably infinite configurations of these pathways, yet most if not all of them probably lead to one of two results, seeking or avoidance. Thus the people that we envy are those who satisfy the ability to seek and avoid more effectively in a socially acceptable manner (keeping in mind that if we talk about just effectiveness, popping a pill is probably the most simple effective way).

If there's no inherent value in pleasant and unpleasant feelings other than our preference, and if there's no inherent value in what we prefer, then a person in a position that can better fulfill those preferences are not inherently in a better position. Myself in a future position that can better fulfill those preferences is not inherently better than the person I am now.

Perhaps, there is nothing to seek.