闲人

I find it relatively easier to let go of the past than to not worry about the future. The past is, after all, unchangeable, the best you can do is make changes in the present. Perhaps it is also for the same reason that I can't let go of the future. Maybe I am afraid that if I don't make the right choices, my present will become an unchangeable past, leaving future me with a mess to clean up.

Yet fear, as does desire, clouds one's vision. If there is fear, or desire, or any variation that one can think of, it becomes a preoccupation. One's mind is crowded with thoughts of, perhaps, solutions or best/worst case scenarios or ruminations or fantasies. The mind is not free to see things as they are.

One thing that one often fails to see is that sometimes the emotion comes first and then we find a reason to pin on it. Of course there is a reason for the emotion, but sometimes it isn't the one we attribute to it. We have a desire to explain things, and when it comes to our own emotions, we often settle for a reason that makes sense, rather than insist on finding the truth. Sometimes we settle for a reason that doesn't even make sense.

We need to see things as they are, emotions as they are, their causes as they are.