闲人

We live in fear. Or more precisely, we are encouraged to live in fear. People who don't plan for the future are often advised to do so, but the people doling out the advice are often not planning for the future, but fearing a future that they (imagine that they) can't cope with.

Go to school, work hard, find a good job, so that you don't need to fear a future where you're poor. Don't need to fear a future where you can't get the things you want, don't need to fear a future where you're miserable. Even if the price is being miserable now, working hard at something you hate.

We get so caught up with the anxiety for survival that we fail to recognize that one can't successfully survive, one can merely postpone its failure. It's the same for the major sources of human motivation, you can't solve the problem of desire or fear (not through conventional means anyway), you merely postpone it until it comes back again.

So we work, we earn, we use the money to buy things we need so we can live a bit longer (and of course put part of that life back into work again), we fulfill our desires and feel satisfied until the next one comes, we allay our fears and feel safe until the next one comes.

I think at some point, one must strive for something beyond those repetitive cycles. Even if it means uncertainty and possible failure. Siddharta gave up his princehood, and eventually became the Buddha. Darwin went for his trip on the Beagle even though it didn't look like it would connect him to a successful future, but it contributed to his theory of evolution.

I do not preach an optimistic "follow your dreams and they will come true" ideal. For every Buddha there are a million monks who disappear into history, for every Darwin there are a million scientists who fade into obscurity. But the fact is for most of us grinding at a life that we don't believe in, the best we can do is be relatively successful, and we will be insignificant either way.

So why not walk your own path?